blindfoldCuriosity might have killed the cat but…

…it can do more than keep your relationship alive. If you’re looking to branch out into kinkier territories, here is your guide to broaching the subject with your partner and how to practice safe, consensual kink. Here is our final New Year’s Sex Solution for January 2014.

Think Kink for 2014!

Sticks and stones may break my bones…but whips and chins excite me! Get in on the nation’s newest obsession for 2014. If you’re looking to spice up your marriage or inject some fun into your relationship, your ship has come in. All aboard for a sexy adventure you won’t forget! Forget Fifty Shades, here’re your five ways:

Step one: How to introduce kink into your relationship?

Arguably one of the most difficult parts of exploring kink is broaching the subject with your partner. Infact, before you do, you might wish to consider several factors when it comes to popping this particular question. In fact, much like the decision to marry, deciding to think kink is very much about timing. How comfortable are you with your partner? How long have you been together? Playfully suggest tying each other up or blindfolds. This approach leaves far less pressure to perform on your partner and isn’t too far from the norm of what you may have tried before. Experiment a few times. You might discover a few things about your partner this way as well as about yourself.

Step two: Stepping out on your own?

If you aren’t with a partner but would like to get in on the action, do some research. There is plenty of brain porn out there that will titillate and spark your imagination – erotica to you and me! Some suggestions are Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan, Sunstone by Shiniez or Anne Rice’s Beauty series. Get some ideas as to what you want out of a kinky relationship. Are you seeking a bit of fun or a BDSM relationship? These four letters might seem quite daunting to many of us out there, however they really needn’t be. Dating for the kinky is not a new phenomenon and there are plenty of men and women out there with similar interests. A site such as Fetlife.com can introduce you to social groups and potential singles in your area. Remember: if you do meet anyone, meet in a public place and get to know your love interest before taking them home. Don’t allow yourself to be blinded by hormones – treat kink as a shared interest rather than a straight forward way to a quick bunk up. Be safe, be aware and be smart.

Step Three: Explore with household objects

While the prospect of spanking your partner with a spatula (or being spanked!) might appear quite ridiculous, this is actually an economically friendly way of exploring your wild side. Some common suggestions for house hold kink are:

  • Scarves – safe, comfortable bondage items or blindfolds. Typically, these can’t be tied too tightly and are gentle on the skin.clothespegs
  • A hairbrush or wooden spoon – a great household alternative to a spanking paddle!
  • Allergy friendly moisturiser – readily available lubricants. Make sure these are suitable for use on more intimate areas and sensitive skin and always check the label of your favourite lotion or moisturiser before use. \
  • Clothes pegs – these make alternatives to nipple clamps. Advice for the newbie: use the cheap plastic ones from your local pound shop and save the wooden ones for later!

Reading this list will excite many a giggle from many a reader and rightly so. You will feel silly exploring at first. However, this is all part of the process of exploring. If you find you can’t get over this feeling during play and aren’t turned on, this type of play might not be for you. However, what using household items does is normalise the process somewhat and is slightly less intimidating for partners than purchasing a dedicated kink kit. However…

Step Four: Tools of the trade?

…if you do find yourself wanting more, you might want to invest in a beginners kink set from a site such as Bondara.co.uk or Lovehoney.co.uk. Know your toy providers! These merchants deliver discreetly in unmarked packages and are accept fast, no-fuss online payments. Check out these packs with your potential partner, or even solo to wet your appetite:

bondarabargainbondagekit

Bondara’s Bargain Bondage Bundle

couples sex toy bundle

Couples Sex
Toys Bundle

fifty shades of grey bondage kit

Fifty Shades of Grey Bondage Kit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And many more! These bundles won’t break the bank and are all you need to get started with bondage, BDSM and more!

Step Five: Discover your own kinks!

Be aware that to be kinky isn’t just about Master/slave play or submission – or even bondage! You might find, for some couples, being kinky might simply be a fetish for anal play, a foot fetish or a fondness or a particular material such as latex. Find out all about your partners fetishes and share yours with them. Share your favourite rabbit with your man. Use it to massage his prostate or penis and encourage him to use it on you likewise. Being kinky is really a matter of offering an alternative to plain old fashioned sex. So find your own and go with it!

Other parts to series:

New Years Sex Solutions Part 1 – Single & Looking: Finding and keeping your ideal guy

New Years Sex Solutions Part 2 – Your Guide to Solo Sex

New Years Sex Solutions Part 3 – The myth of the seven year itch and its impact on long term relationships has been hotly debated over the internet for the past few years. But is it a myth?  The love of your life is far less easy to find than to loose, so why not try these simple steps to keeping tight hold!

New Years Sex Solutions Part 4: – Think Kink: If you’re looking to branch out into kinkier territories, here is your guide to broaching the subject with your partner and how to practice safe, consensual kink.

 

Credits:

Blindfold Image by MadEmoiselle Sugar, Pegs by Emilian Robert Vicol

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Filed under: Guides • Sex Tips

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